Comments on: Online Matchmaking — Integrity or Ego Driven?

By: llake

llake — Wed, 27 May 2009 20:24:54 +0000

Thanks guys. I can’t help but get frustrated and when I reach that point I step back and take a break. It’s hard at 37 to date. Wrote about that last night:

The Truth Told by A Single Woman

You want truth?

I’ll give you truth
At 37 there is something magic that happens when you go to walk into a starbucks and two attractive men go out of their way to talk to you.
At 37 dating is hard. Baggage, cynicism and critical viewpoints stand in your way.
There are so many questions at play
I can hear them in the minds of men
Is she needy, can she have children, she doesn’t look twenty and why is she 37 and single?

I never thought, I’d be single at 37 and DATING
I invested the prime of my life into a 3 year relationship that I still struggle to move past
I was engaged for a short time and well it didn’t last
I never once thought I’d be the one stuck here, staring at myself alone in the mirror

I wish I could say I don’t struggle with the challenges of being a single woman
but that would not be honest
There are evenings I wish I had someone to go to dinner with
There are nights I wish I’d be greeted at the door with a hug and a kiss
Those jars that are hard to open can sometimes bring me to tears
Not to mention the handy stuff that needs done around that house that continues to appear

I keep holding out and wishing for a someday
Unfortunately as time goes on I just don’t see it that way
Everyday I get a little older and a little less hopeful about my happily ever-after
I’m not saying I can’t be happy alone — I just miss the laughter

Don’t misunderstand I don’t want to be with Mr. Wrong to avoid being alone
I just wish I could find that guy that’s walking in my zone.
Empty bed, empty house, silence abounds
Snuggle with the cat so you don’t feel alone
You only wish there was someone else around

Truth is I long for love and affection
Wish I could find it coming my direction
Lots of dates, lots of disappointments
I’m honestly considering, giving it up all together
Just for a little while, but hopefully not forever

Expectations out of line
Perfection is what I have in mind
My list is not so long but hard to meet
Loyalty, Honesty, Ambition, Humor and a Drive
Coupled with good looks and I’d think my Prince Charming had arrived

For now I’ll put the dating game on the shelf
In hopes of continuing to define and find myself
I know, I’ll still long for those hugs and kisses
After all I think that it’s what every single woman misses.

I appreciate your comments as well as advice and encouragement. Thanks for the good luck wishes Brian and I love happy beginnings and endings Jared.

By: Jared

Jared — Wed, 27 May 2009 19:56:03 +0000

Hang in there! I had some pitiful experiences with online dating myself in the past. Then after a couple years of… well, we’ll call it self-discovery, I tried again. This time, brutally honest about who I was and what I was looking for. After a few failed attempts, I met my wife. After contacting each other online, we met at a Starbucks. Bit of advice, meet as soon as possible! Don’t spend late hours instant messaging only to find out in the first 2 seconds you meet there is nothing there. The chemistry is either there or it’s not. My wife had actually took Oprah’s advice and had dated… I think around 86 or so men before me. Neither one of us sugar coated anything, I think we were both tired of that. I laid it all on the line, “here’s my shit, here’s what I’m doing about it, and here’s where I’m heading.” We’ve been together everyday since and it’s been completely amazing. I have finally discovered what love is to me.

And on the subject of misrepresenting or “bait and switch,” sure people do that. First thing we learned in Business School, “there ain’t no free lunch!” Everyone has something, and thank God. Just find someone that realizes what their something is and is willing to work on it.

Nice WP theme by the way!

By: Brian Hancock

Brian Hancock — Wed, 20 May 2009 21:59:56 +0000

I think what you are saying is just a mirror image of what happens in real life. People be the best person they can be on the first few dates and then as they get more comfortable, you discover the real person. I think the online dating world is mostly just a reflection of that, and both will have their share of good and bad people, liars, cheaters, etc.

The same holds true for business. Sales staff will talk up the high level of customer service they provide, but not until the relationship is established do you really find out how well they serve their clients.

Lastly, just because someone claims to be a good companion or a good business and their not, doesn’t necessarily mean they are telling a lie. It could just be that they don’t see their own flaws, don’t understand what good is, or you have high expectations that they can’t meet.

Just my .02, and good luck out there!